The Importance of Being Ernest Read online

  During my interview with Thom Ferrell, he discussed in greater detail the advertising approach that led to the birth of Ernest:

  “I had been producing commercials for Opryland as well as for Six Flags. Buster (John Cherry) and Jerry Carden called me over to discuss their new account, Beech Bend. I said I would go up and scout for shooting possibilities and report my findings as to what they could do for a TV commercial. After seeing the park, I told Buster and Jerry showing the park would be a mistake at this time due to its condition (the log flume ride had algae in it). I suggested using a spokesman in some way until the improvements had been made by the new owner (Ronnie Milsap).

  “Buster and I then got together over a bunch of beers and decided on an obnoxious neighbor telling about the park. Hence, Ernest was patterned after the warehouse employee who worked for Buster’s dad’s electrical supply company. … we both knew (he) was a pain in the ass. The neighbor (Vern) was patterned after my State Farm insurance man (Vernon), who would be less likely to want to be annoyed by Ernest.”

  • • •

  Perhaps there was synchronicity at work. The inspiration for Vern was a man who worked for State Farm. That company’s popular tagline was and is “Like a Good Neighbor.” Ernest would become the ultimate annoying neighbor.

  After getting the premise down for the Beech Bend ads, all that remained was finding an actor to play Ernest. According to Ferrell, Jim was the first and only person considered. With Jim out of acting and living back in Kentucky, the timing could not have been better. Although Jim had no idea what the character would eventually mean to him and the culture at large, he was excited about the opportunity for paying work as an actor. Soon Jim was driving down to Nashville.

  Because of the limited budget, the Vernon character would essentially be played by the cameraman, with the TV audience experiencing Ernest through Vernon’s point of view. In the years that followed, Ernest came to refer to Vernon as just plain Vern.

  Since Beech Bend could not offer the same caliber of rides as Opryland, Ernest humorously highlighted the fact that a family could spend a lot less money and still have a great time. Ernest also promoted such events as the J. R. look-alike contest (inspired by the star of the hit TV show at the time, “Dallas”) and an appearance by the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. John Cherry used his own Nashville residence to shoot the commercials after being less than impressed with the scruffy appearance of the park.

  The commercials ran for five weeks and were extremely popular, even winning awards. Although business picked up for a while, the park couldn’t live up to Ernest’s hype and closed shortly after the commercials aired. Since Ernest had been tailored specifically for Beech Bend, he was shelved for over a year, as the agency wasn’t quite sure how to pitch the character to other clients.

  Ernest seemed destined for the same fate as Sergeant Glory until a company that had previously used the Glory character became interested in Carden & Cherry’s newest Jim Varney creation. Purity Dairies of Nashville liked the way Ernest appealed to children in the Beech Bend ads and thought he was a perfect fit for selling their milk and ice-cream products. In the latter part of 1981, Purity signed onto the Ernest campaign, and Jim’s face was soon stretched across billboards and TV screens in Nashville. In Raleigh, N.C., Pine State Dairies also signed up.

  Meanwhile, Jim was still trying to land a role in a TV series. In April 1982, he was cast in a pilot for NBC called, “The Show Must Go On.” The hour-long show was hosted by actor E.G. Marshall and focused on the behind-the-scenes trials and tribulations of a stage show. In the end, it became yet another entry in the growing list of failed TV pilots on Jim’s resume. Fortunately, Jim soon had all the work he could handle shooting commercials and making public appearances for Ernest’s growing list of dairy clients.

  With the money Ernest was beginning to bring in, Jim was finally able to afford his first house. In the summer of 1982, Jacqui and the boys moved from Lexington with Jim to their new home just north of Nashville in White House, Tenn. Ernest was now a full-time job, and the family had to adjust.

  After Purity and Pine State, around three dozen dairies in the South and Midwest soon bought into Ernest’s selling power. At this point, Ernest was becoming a hot commodity. The character and his brand of humor had tapped into a seldom-touched market of rural America, one especially rare for television advertising. Yet by far that wasn’t the only place where Ernest was gaining fans. There seemed to be something about Ernest’s slapstick humor that appealed to people from all walks of life. Carden & Cherry continued to win advertising awards for Ernest while pitching the character to businesses outside the dairy segment. Before long, Ernest was in 80 markets throughout the country.

  In addition to Cherry and his team of writers, many others at the agency were involved in the huge task of handling the Ernest machine. Jerry Carden, John Cherry’s partner in the company, oversaw the agency’s account executives. John Cherry once joked, “Jerry’s got the real creative part, dealing with the clients.” One of the people who also dealt with his fair share of clients was Roy Lightner, vice president of marketing. If anyone could take on the enormous task of selling Ernest it was Lightner. He had spent most of his career working for N.W. Ayer & Son, the oldest advertising agency in the country. From Boston to New York, he had worked with big companies such as Goodyear, DuPont, Chrysler and Texaco. He retired in 1980 and moved to Nashville. After a short stint directing a television-ministry campaign, Lightner found himself in advertising once again. In early 1982, at the age of 60, Lightner joined Carden & Cherry and was soon logging thousands of miles a year, as he became an integral part of spreading Ernest across the country.

  Lightner credits his success to clean living. Instead of hanging out in bars when he was out of town selling Ernest, he used his downtime to study up on prospective clients. He still lived by the slogan of N.W. Ayer and Son: “Keeping everlastingly at it brings success.” His work ethic and boundless enthusiasm for Ernest proved a successful combination.

  Although Lightner and Jim technically never worked “together,” Jim helped Lightner’s efforts by being accommodating to the new clients that Roy brought to the commercial shoots. Jim and Lightner got along well, and Jim enjoyed poking fun at Lightner’s “buttoned up” demeanor: One time he gave Lightner an earring as a gift. To Jim’s surprise, Lightner put it on. A picture of Lightner sporting the earring hung on the fridge door in the kitchen at Carden & Cherry for years.

  Jim continued to pursue other acting opportunities, hoping to capitalize on his recent success. One was teaming up with Ferrell’s production company to star in a 20-minute trailer promo called “Dillard and The Devil’s Music.” It was a project that Ferrell and Cherry had put together with a TV movie in mind. Jim played the part of an old wino, Dillard P. Simpson, who had been recruited by an angel in a battle between good and evil, where music was used to lure lost souls. Dillard was made to perform his duties while living a genie-like existence inside an old beer can. After a struggling young musician comes across the can on a street, he soon meets Dillard, who offers him assistance. Unfortunately, nothing ever came of the project.

  In the fall of 1982, Jim landed his first TV series since the failed “Pink Lady.” He was cast as a regular in the half-hour country music variety series “Tom T. Hall’s Pop! Goes the Country” in Nashville. Country music singer-songwriter Hall had recently taken over as host from noted country DJ Ralph Emery (a change reflected in the show’s title, which had previously just been “Pop! Goes the Country”). The show’s tapings had moved from the Opry House to Opryland USA’s Gaslight Theatre, and the set was made over with a nightclub feel. The main character Jim portrayed was a “totally cool” California hipster named Bobby Burbank. Bobby, like Ernest, believed he was much cooler than he actually was and usually found himself the butt of the joke. In addition, Jim was able to introduce some of his stand-up characters to a new audience, such as his sassy southern beauty queen, Bunny Jeanette. He wore b
right-blue eye make-up, thick red lipstick and a big blonde curly wig when portraying Bunny as a cocktail waitress. In just a few years since the actor’s strike, Jim’s career was back on track. While not following the path he had originally dreamed of, he was finding consistent work as an actor and making enough money to provide for his family. Jim’s aspirations of becoming a touted character actor once again felt within reach.

  But before the 26 taped episodes of “Pop Goes the Country” featuring Jim could air, legal issues had to be worked out. Jim had recently filed suit against his new agent, Aubrey Mayhew, who had been representing him since January 1981. Jim wanted to void his contract on the grounds of non-performance. He claimed that Mayhew had not lived up to many of the promises he had originally made. Liles says Jim told him that Mayhew wanted Jim to perform stand-up wherever he happened to locate a gig, no matter where it was. That was not the type of career-boosting work Jim had envisioned when signing with Mayhew, who had started Little Darlin’ records in the ‘60s and had launched the career of country singer Johnny Paycheck and other artists.

  Mayhew countersued, arguing that Jim “refused or neglected to come to Nashville (from Lexington) for the purpose of recording and preparing him for his career.” In addition, Mayhew wanted 50 percent of Jim’s income from his commercial and TV appearances, and included Purity, Carden & Cherry, and Show Biz (the company that distributed “Tom T’s Pop! Goes the Country Club”) in his cross-complaint. Both sides eventually settled with Jim being ordered to pay Mayhew back the $2,000 that Mayhew had loaned him at the beginning of their association. Betty Clark, whose Nashville talent agency had worked with Jim the previous ten years, soon took over as Jim’s manager.

  Meanwhile, Jim continued to do stand-up at clubs in and around Nashville. His wife, Jacqui, helped write many of the routines and sometimes joined him onstage. At the famous Bluebird Café, the two performed what Jacqui joked was “kind of a Benny Hillbilly show.” One of their acts was a parody on the life and times of Mr. and Mrs. Marlin Perkins. Marlin Perkins was host of the long-running TV show “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.”

  The next opportunity for acting came in 1983 when Jim was offered a role on a new TV show for NBC called “The Rousters.” Jim’s character, Evan Earp, and his brother, Wyatt Earp III (played by Chad Everett of the beloved TV series “Medical Center”), were great-grandsons of Wyatt Earp, the famous gunfighter of the American West. In the show, Wyatt works as a bouncer for a traveling carnival while his gun-toting mother attempts to keep the family’s violent legacy alive by finding work as a bounty hunter. “The Rousters” was one of many shows from the late, legendary TV producer Stephen J. Cannell, whose long list of hits included “The Rockford Files,” “Baretta,” “The Greatest American Hero” and later, “The A-Team” and “21 Jump Street.” According to Jo Swerling Jr., executive producer of “The Rousters,” “When Cannell wrote the pilot, he wrote the role of Evan for Varney after seeing his tapes.” With a cast that included other noted actors such as Mimi Rogers and Hoyt Axton, hopes were high that it could be another Cannell hit.

  The “Rousters” pilot was taped in April, and in May NBC added it to their fall schedule. Jim was surprised and excited when he heard the news. He planned a temporary move to Los Angeles over the summer with Jacqui and the boys; he wanted them close by while he worked. Jim had come to love his stepsons as if they were his own flesh and blood.

  During the show’s short run, it was pre-empted twice and shifted to different nights, which took a toll on ratings. Even though Jim thought it was a quality show, it didn’t make it past the first season.

  The demands of filming an hour-long TV show were immense. It was the most grueling work schedule Jim had ever experienced professionally. Jacqui and the boys had ended up remaining at home in Tennessee during his time shooting. The long stretches away from family proved too great a strain on the marriage, and Jacqui asked for a divorce. Jim was devastated, having thought so many of his struggles were behind him.

  Yet he barely had time to dwell on the divorce or his cancelled show, as the Ernest clients kept growing. The character was becoming a household name. Jim had actually been flying back and forth from Los Angeles to Nashville during the shooting of “The Rousters” to keep the Ernest commercials going.

  Back in Jim’s hometown, everyone was reading about his latest successes in the Lexington Herald-Leader. Reporters from the paper interviewed him many times. In one piece, Jim spoke of his newfound stardom and gave insight into what drove him as an actor. He said, “I never really wanted to be a star, though … I think that term is badly overused. I just always wanted to act and entertain people.” Jim also discussed his long-held desire of doing serious acting, perhaps even playing a villain. Jim’s mother was interviewed for one story and remarked, “He looks so funny as Ernest that it’s kind of strange to think that he used to do Shakespeare.”

  Lexington was also enjoying its first glimpse of Jim as Ernest, as his Convenient Food Mart commercials began playing in the area. Les Bosse, advertising director for Convenient’s parent company, Conna Corp of Louisville, said then, “It’s possibly the best advertising campaign we’ve ever had.” Like so many clients of Carden & Cherry, Conna Corp. received countless letters asking who Ernest was and how many more commercials were set to air.

  In March 1984, the Kentucky State Senate passed a resolution honoring Jim. His father accompanied him to Frankfort where senators gave him a standing ovation. The Woodford Sun, a nearby newspaper, covered the event and printed a photo of Jim and his father meeting with Governor Martha Layne Collins. Jim’s father carried a copy of that newspaper photo folded up in his billfold until the day he died. To have such an honor bestowed on his son obviously made him proud and perhaps served as validation of the type of man he had always hoped Jim would become.

  Jim’s celebrity status was gaining him invitations to a variety of social functions, including prominent ones in his home state. Beginning in the 1950s, Hamburg Place, the noted horse farm, was the site of the famous Derby Eve party thrown every year by owner-socialite Anita Madden and her husband. The star-studded parties were always exhibitions of Southern opulence and then some. Many had themes such as “Rapture of the Deep” and “Ultimate Odyssey,” which featured males and females dressed as Greek gods. In May 1984, Jim was a celebrity guest at the event, held on the same grounds where he had once parked cars for his father and where his grandfather had once worked as a horseman and gardener.

  Although Jim was understandably popular in Lexington and Nashville, other states were just as crazy over him. In truth, Ernest was going viral, appealing to the country’s blue-collar workers, people with Southern roots and anyone else who appreciated Ernest’s kooky, down-home style. A Tulsa, Okla., TV station where Ernest commercials aired for Braum’s groceries had to go to special lengths to deal with the flood of phone calls about Ernest. The station actually ran a special message on the screen early each morning to inform viewers of the times the commercials would air. Customers at a Braum’s market in Choctaw, Okla., which had served as a shooting location for an Ernest commercial, would act out scenes from the commercial filmed there. It involved Ernest taking cottage cheese from the dairy case and dancing with it while approaching the checkout counter.

  In another much-loved commercial, Ernest climbs to the top of Vern’s ladder. Pushy Ernest interrupts Vern, who is on the roof, to tell him about the latest product he needs to buy. Vern doesn’t respond but just kicks out the ladder, sending Ernest falling backward into the yard. Many of Ernest’s intrusions left Jim with bumps, bruises, even burns. Another popular commercial shows Ernest interrupting Vern’s outdoor cookout by hovering over his grill and giving him his (usual) unwarranted advice. Vern – again, always a man of few words – doesn’t bother to tell Ernest about the grill being hot and gets the last laugh when Ernest leans on it and is scorched.

  As the interest in Ernest continued to take on a life of its own, a TV special centering on t
he character and his back story seemed fitting. The result: a one-hour syndicated TV special called “Hey Vern, It’s My Family Album.” Originally referred to in some news articles as “The Ernest ‘n’ Vern Comedy Special,” the show was filmed in Nashville during the spring of 1984. Consisting of six sketches, each introduced by Ernest, the special highlighted some of his peculiar family members. One member it didn’t feature was Edna, a woman Ernest occasionally mentioned in the commercials. She, like Vern, was always offscreen. Viewers were led to assume that she was likely his wife. (Author’s note: Apart from having “Family Album” in their titles, there is virtually no similarity between this special and the variety show Joe Liles pitched in the late 1970s. And, unless Jim mentioned it to them, I believe it is doubtful any of the Ernest writers knew of its existence.)

  In each sketch of the show, Jim portrays humorous characters outside of Ernest. Many people thought some of them were funnier than Ernest. One is Lloyd Worrell, adapted from his stand-up character Loyd Roe. Along with a second “l” added to his first name, Lloyd’s last name has been changed and the character reinvented as Ernest’s great-uncle. Ernest claims, as Jim did in his stand-up routine, that Lloyd is the meanest man in the world. In the special, the distinction is even stated on Lloyd’s dilapidated mailbox, which reads “Lloyd Worrell, MMW.” “Meanest Man in the World” is written just below it.

  In the show, Jim plays the part of Lloyd in full costume and makeup. His clothing is ragged, resembling that worn by Jed Clampett, TV’s hillbilly billionaire. In this version, with missing teeth and a hunched-over stance, Lloyd is more downtrodden than his stand-up character but still mean as a snake.