The Importance of Being Ernest Read online

  Liles was apologetic about the mix-up that prevented Jim from performing. Cash didn’t seem to mind, especially after having a great time at the end of the evening. The icon was getting to know Jim on a personal level. The friendship was really a result of the perseverance of Hutchins and Routh looking to help out Jim any way they could.

  Jim was finding his groove with his stand-up and still earning money with advertising work. Thom Ferrell had left the McDonald, Carden, Cherry and Ferrell agency after five years to start Thom 2 Productions. Jim did some work with Ferrell’s company in 1975 portraying a pirate character in several ads while continuing the Sergeant Glory work for John Cherry’s agency, which had changed its name to Carden & Cherry in 1974.

  Jim continued traveling throughout Kentucky and Tennessee performing stand-up and preparing for his move to Los Angeles. In addition to polishing material for his act, he was also refining his physical features for potential TV or film roles. In the summer of 1975, he had the follow-up surgery on his nose. Sections were loosened and reattached after trimming and shaping. It was starting to look good, and Jim was hopeful he’d now be a contender for leading-man roles. The difference in his appearance was noticeable as it reflected even more of the “Roman” look Jim had wanted all along. Unfortunately, Jim did not follow the doctor’s orders to refrain from physical activity following the surgery and injured his nose during a frisky encounter with a girlfriend. At that point, nothing could be done to reverse the damage. After a few days, Jim accepted responsibility for what had happened and the possibility that he might forever be limited to character roles. At what point he began to be truly more comfortable with his looks is not known. Liles remembers a conversation with Jim around 1995 when Jim was 46, where Jim seemed to have come to like the way he looked. Jim made a comment about his face having an interesting character to it. Liles was happy to hear that Jim was pleased with his looks even at such a late stage in his life.

  In October, Jim opened for the band Blood, Sweat and Tears at Morehead University, located east of Lexington. It was a tough crowd for Jim. A reporter from the Lexington Herald-Leader interviewed him following his act, and Jim told the writer he was preparing to take a shot at Los Angeles: “Sometimes you make it overnight, sometimes it takes a long time. It just depends on how bad you want it.” It was obvious that at this point Jim wanted it.

  Jim sent a letter home to his parents just before Thanksgiving. In it, he talked about how Routh and his wife were expecting their first child and how excited everyone was. He also mentioned a party at Cash’s place in Bon Aqua, Tenn., where he was to have performed but that had been cancelled. The last bit of news he included concerned a Sergeant Glory film (a 10-minute movie to be shown during tours of the Purity dairy plant) that he had just completed that was to pay him close to $1,000.

  CHAPTER TEN: STRIKING IT RICH IN CALIFORNIA

  By February 1976, Jim was feeling the time was right for Los Angeles. Liles planned to go with him. Thanks to the perseverance of Routh and Hutchins, Cash had given them the phone number and address of his West Coast agent, Marty Klein. Cash had asked Klein to help Jim out.

  A few weeks after they found an apartment and settled in, Liles read in the Hollywood Reporter that Cash was going to be in town to accept his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame that day at noon.

  As Liles recalls, “I woke Jim up, showed him the article and we both scrambled to make ourselves presentable. We got there as the ceremony was already underway. After Johnny uncovered his star and was kneeling beside it posing for photos, I pushed Jim in close where he could talk to John and be seen. Cash was really happy to see him, as Jim said something right off that made Cash laugh. He told us to go behind the VIP site and wait for him. He joined us a few minutes later and invited Jim to come over to the ‘Merv Griffin Show’ that night and hang out.”

  Jim’s first opportunity to perform stand-up in Los Angeles was at the now legendary Comedy Store. Alongside future giants such as Robin Williams and David Letterman, Jim found a new audience for his material while gaining needed exposure. Liles remembers Jim teaching Williams to speak in “bulls--- Russian” that he had learned from his cousin Ed McChord who had majored in Russian Language and Literature in college.

  Club owner Mitzi Shore liked Jim’s act and helped him get bookings on the strip. Jim was soon performing at The Improv in Hollywood, The Horn in Santa Monica and Laff Stop in Santa Ana. Jim appreciated the opportunities Shore gave him as well as the use of her black limo, which had a television in the back, a real luxury at the time. He and fellow comic Skip Stephenson sometimes traveled together while performing in the area. “He and I played those clubs for four days a week and a couple of hundred bucks,” Jim recalled. Jim later talked of his experiences doing stand-up and the brutal nature of perfecting a routine. “You die alone there,” he once said when describing the reality of bombing.

  Along with helping Jim find work, Liles assisted him in maneuvering his old car around the enormously steep roads of the Hollywood Hills. They had nicknamed Jim’s 1960 Dodge Dart Pioneer “The Shark” because of its front-end appearance, with a seemingly endless row of vertical lines in its massive grill. It reminded them of the shark from the movie “Jaws,” released the previous summer. Without a parking brake or gear, they had to place a brick underneath one of the wheels to keep the car from rolling away. Despite some close calls, the car survived and even made a couple more trips back to Tennessee and Kentucky. Jim’s dad was surprised it had ever made it out of Lexington.

  Liles woke up one morning in late March to find a note on their apartment door. It was from Routh: He was in Nashville. He had gotten their address from Jim’s mother, called around Los Angeles and found someone to drop a note by their apartment. (Remember this is before cell phones and e-mail.) As if Los Angeles wasn’t competitive enough, Jim and Liles were initially operating without a telephone. But they scraped up enough money to place a long-distance call back to Routh. He told them about a summer TV series that Cash was planning. Cash apparently wanted Jim to be a part of it. They were invited to come up to San Francisco where Cash was performing and attend a meeting with Cash’s wife, June Carter, and some of the show’s producers, all at Cash’s expense.

  Liles and Jim flew up for a couple of days for an informal audition. It was Jim’s first time meeting Carter, whose input for the show was as important as her husband’s. Carter, of course, was a celebrity in her own right as a member of the famous singing Carter family. She was also known for her comedy onstage and during performances. Jim performed some of his routines so Carter could see just what Cash had been raving about. Still, Cash’s recommendation was not a slam-dunk. Carter was actually interested in having one of the funnier members of The Oak Ridge Boys write comedy for the show.

  Liles says that after the meeting they were expecting an offer. But months went by, and they heard nothing. Liles says, “I finally got William Morris in New York to look into it, and Joe Cates (executive producer) was not interested, based on other comedians John and June had suggested. William Morris twisted (Cates’) arm, showed him videos of (Jim’s) commercials and (Cates) agreed to hire him sight unseen. It was what Cash wanted, and the endorsement of William Morris closed it.”

  The show, “Johnny Cash & Friends,” was a summer replacement series scheduled to run for four weeks. The variety-show wave that had gained popularity in the ‘60s was still going strong in the ‘70s. The wave included Johnny’s original ABC show, “The Johnny Cash Show,” which aired 1969-71. In this second go ‘round for Cash, CBS was trying to ride the momentum. Tapings took place inside the Opryhouse back in Nashville in front of capacity crowds.

  Jim got to share the stage not only with Cash and Carter, but with rising, young comedian Steve Martin. It was right before Martin hit it big on “Saturday Night Live.” Liles remembers Martin and Jim getting along well, although he says Martin didn’t respond to Jim’s jokes at first. It wasn’t until Martin and a group of people associated with
the show saw Jim perform at the Exit/In that Martin witnessed more of Jim’s arsenal of voices and characters. Liles recalls, “Martin was blown away when Cletus J. Hocker (a wino character of Jim’s) broke into his impressions of Peter O’Toole, Richard Burton and, lastly, Dylan Thomas.” Martin made a point of telling Jim how much he enjoyed the Dylan Thomas impression. It turned out that both he and Jim had grown up listening to the same Dylan Thomas record. Jim told Martin that he was the first person in a long time to recognize who the impression was about. From that point on, Martin had a newfound respect for Jim, and their friendship grew from there. When Jim and Liles came back to Los Angeles, Martin invited them to catch his performance at the Troubadour Club. They all enjoyed catching up after the set.

  Things were finally moving for Jim. Before the Johnny Cash show even aired, Jim made his first national television appearance on “The Merv Griffin Show” in May 1976. Jim’s new agent at William Morris handled the booking. Griffin was impressed with Jim and invited him back.

  Even though the four-episode “Johnny Cash & Friends” was a short run, Jim received positive reviews. Marshall Fallwell Jr. wrote about the show for Photoplay magazine. In mentioning Jim’s performance and the talk about the possibility of a TV show in the future featuring him, he wrote, “You will definitely be hearing from Jim Varney again.”

  Now that Jim was in California, he was catching up with old friends who had also moved there. One was comedian buddy Freddie Prinze, who had been trying to get in touch with Jim ever since they had performed together in New York. Jim had not given him any contact information other than that he was from Kentucky. On at least one occasion when Prinze was doing a radio appearance in Chicago, he called out to Jim while on the air – figuring the signal might well reach Kentucky – to please get in touch if he could hear him. Unfortunately, Jim’s reunion with Prinze was their last contact before Prinze’s suicide in 1977.

  Jim was soon making the rounds with his stand-up on a variety of TV shows. One was Dinah Shore’s show. Johnny Carson bandleader Doc Severinsen was another guest scheduled to appear the same day. Severinsen went on before Jim and shared a personal story about his battle with alcohol. As Jim watched from backstage, he realized that he needed to make a drastic change to the material he had planned to use. He was prepared to do his Cletus J. Hocker routine, the wino who cooked with wine. Jim realized how insensitive he would appear, and with Joe Liles’ help, quickly explained the problem to the producers. The producers understood and supported him, even though they knew the new material wasn’t going to be as strong or polished. “I’ll always have a special respect for him doing that at that moment,” says Liles. Severinsen and his manager later learned what had happened and were appreciative of Jim’s sensitivity.

  On October 19, 1976, Jim got a chance to display his talent on what comedians considered the ultimate television venue, “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.” One of the show’s scouts had seen Jim perform at The Comedy Store. Although the Carson people wanted Jim on the show, they didn’t think that he was strong enough to appear when Carson was hosting. They scheduled Jim to be on when actor McLean Stephenson, famous for the TV series “M*A*S*H,” was guest-hosting. While it was a pivotal opportunity, it prevented Jim from the possibility of obtaining the ultimate validation for a comic at the time – Johnny waving him over for a quick chat after the act. Doing so would instantly put the performer on the radar of the most powerful network executives and Hollywood casting agents.

  Actor Jack Palance was one of the guests scheduled to appear on Carson the night Jim was to perform. Jim had just finished getting his makeup done when Jack Palance walked into the room. Jim said to Liles in a cowboy drawl, “Joseph Perry, that’s the man who shot Shane,” referring to Palance’s Oscar-nominated gunfighter role in the movie “Shane.” The makeup people thought it was funny, but Palance was visibly upset. Perhaps he had grown tired of being so closely associated with that role. Or perhaps it was the fact that a relative unknown talent had assumed he could joke around so openly with an established actor before being properly introduced. Whatever the reason, an awkward hush filled the room. Palance did not speak to Jim or acknowledge him afterward. Jim apologized, telling Palance how much he had loved him in the movie, but the damage was done.

  Robert Blake, then the popular star of the hit detective show “Baretta,” was hanging out backstage and recognized Jim from Merv Griffin’s show. Jim was shaken up after what had happened in the makeup room. Blake assured him everything would be fine, and when Jim’s name was called to go on, Blake placed his hand on Jim’s back, pushed him toward the stage and hollered, “Go get ‘em!”

  Jim’s performance was well received but not spectacular enough to provide any real boost to his career. Because of this, he still took advantage of any television opportunity, wherever it happened to be. As he did with “Johnny Cash and Friends,” Jim traveled to Tennessee in August 1976 to perform on two episodes of the short-lived “Music Hall America.” Taped in Opryland, the syndicated one-hour variety show featured comedy and music acts with rotating guest hosts.

  Jim was also continuing work on his Sergeant Glory character for Carden & Cherry. Around November 1976, the agency flew him to Florida to shoot a commercial for a dairy. Jim had a scary experience at his hotel. He returned to his room exhausted from work, plopped down on his bed and drifted right to sleep. Someone broke in and stole the Rolex right off his wrist. Then they cut the pocket open on the blue jeans he was wearing and took his wallet. Sister Jake remembers Jim showing his mother the shirt he had been wearing, which had also been cut with a knife. Needless to say, it’s fortunate Jim didn’t wake up during the robbery.

  Despite the fact that Carden & Cherry had sold Sergeant Glory to a few clients along with Purity, the character had finally run its course. John Cherry later admitted that he was still too inexperienced at the time to successfully parlay the character’s success into additional markets. One thing he did know for sure was that Jim had talent. He later recalled, “Jim had that something, even then.”

  On one of Jim’s visits home to Lexington he reunited with an old flame, Jackie Drew. He had found out from his sisters that she had recently divorced and was raising twin sons. He had developed a crush on Jackie in high school, and they had acted alongside each other in school plays. Jackie was tall and slender with long brown hair. One reporter interviewing her and Jim in 1982 wrote that she could pass for a model. She and Jim began dating, and on June 15, 1977, Jim’s 28th birthday, they married in California. (It was also around this time that Jackie changed the spelling of her first name to Jacqui – and sometimes used Jaqi.) Jim now had the added responsibility of supporting a family while looking for his next big break.

  Fortunately, Jim continued to find TV work. In the fall of 1977, Jim’s Virgil Simms character began a recurring role on the Martin Mull and Fred Willard mock talk show, “Fernwood 2 Night.” Fernwood was a spin-off from the TV show “Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman” and was produced by Norman Lear (“All in the Family,” “Sanford and Son,” “One Day at a Time,” etc.) and Alan Thicke. Mull played the humorously glib host Barth Gimble, the twin brother of Garth Gimble whom he had played on “Mary Hartman.” Willard was his foolish sidekick, Jerry Hubbard.

  The show had the production values of local programming seen across much of the country, with its small stage and minimal set. Many guests were quirky characters from Middle America who provided easy targets for the show’s host. Virgil Simms was a perfect fit.

  Liles recalls the Virgil Simms character being created by Jim a couple of years earlier in Nashville. Virgil was originally conceived as a mechanic who worked at a gas station in the South. An early bit consisted of Virgil performing an oil change in exchange for a hit of acid from the car’s hippie owner. The strength of the bit rested on Jim’s ability to describe some of the crazy things he did in the garage while hallucinating. “I believe I put some Austin-Healey brake shoes on a Cadillac,” recalled the mechanic
in one of Jim’s stand-up routines at the Exit/In. Many of the same elements of the mechanic on acid were used in one of his early appearances on Fernwood.

  The character’s unconventional qualities expanded even more when the talented Fernwood writers provided their input. Virgil’s appearance consisted of polyester leisure suits that ranged in color from canary yellow to lime green. His greased-up, slicked-back hair and white shoes complemented his Southern charm.

  Virgil also entertained with stories about moonlighting as an instructor at a community college, teaching a variety of oddball courses. In one episode, Virgil describes a new course he is teaching that offers truck drivers helpful advice and cooking tips when on the road. He explains to Barth just how inspiring a love song is to a lonely truck driver. In a follow-up appearance, Jim sings a tune called “Redneck Heaven” and shows off his knee-slapping hambone skills while belting out lyrics that reference moon pies and RC Cola.

  Virgil, who idolized motorcycle daredevil Evel Knievel, was known as the mobile-home daredevil. During one episode, in a twist on Knievel’s famous jumps, Virgil explains to Barth Gimble how he jumped over a row of motorcycles while driving a “fully equipped” Winnebago.